Insured and bonded by:

A Silly Story

It was a cool and windy night. Dash, Milo, Mr. Blue, Simon, Sadie, Annabelle, and I gazed out into the darkness, through the window of our top floor apartment. Rain hammered the street below like the loose hairs of a showering, balding man hammers a bathtub floor. The grim night shuddered. No regret for the grim night. Much regret for the hair loss.

I said, "Before I got all of you guys I went to Europe a couple of times. Three months here, two months there. I had a fairly good time, as good a time as a shy person could have anyway."

Dash Googled himself. Milo cracked the books. Mr. Blue said, "Oh my god, I can talk!" Simon got all shook up. Sadie lined her pockets, and Annabelle filed it all away.

"I imagine that I will want to travel again one of these days. I might want to travel to Europe again, or to India. Maybe I'd travel to Katmandu. If I do travel I won't be gone for two or three months again. I couldn't bear to leave you for such a long time. I'd worry. No, I'm thinking along the lines of two weeks, three weeks at the most. I'd send you postcards."

Dash gave a hoot. Milo solved a quadratic equation. Mr. Blue voiced his approval. Simon expanded his horizons. Sadie ran the gauntlet, and Annabelle drank from the well.

"If I do travel again," I continued, "I'll make sure that you are well cared for. I'll hire a cat sitter to check in on you. This cat sitter will be kind, and loving. She will not cause you any fear or pain. He will feed you, and play with you, and keep you well hydrated. She will not yell at you, or spike you like a football. He will not force you to listen to Michael Bolton spill his heart out all over the place, or make you smoke a cigarette. She will be very sensitive to your wants and needs. He will be insured and bonded, and have extraordinarily good references. Come to think of it this cat sitter will be a warm, unusually sensitive, cat loving person, much like I am, but probably without the muscles."

Dash requested tarter with his fries. Milo beamed himself up. Mr. Blue changed his name to Skippy, and then changed it back again. Simon gave a wink and a nod. Sadie drew the line, and Annabelle got into the groove.

"Now that that is settled, who wants ice cream?"


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